Leave on the Shelf
I usually don’t say this, but…please don’t buy this book. You may be like me and read the subtitle and think you are getting a book that will really educate you and help your child. This just isn’t the case. ADHD Raising an Explosive Child is a choice to leave on the shelf.
The subtitle is “The Last Parents’ Guide You’ll Ever Need to Turn ADHD Into a Super Power – Includes 20 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid Immediately.” Sounds good, right? If you are brand new to ADHD and parenting, this could be helpful. But if you’ve been in the trenches, you likely already know everything in the 166 pages of this book.
What is Helpful
This book reminds parents of children with ADHD that the work can be very difficult and stressful. And this, of course, is helpful to know that what you are feeling and experiencing is a reality. The overall stress on all members of a family is tough to even measure. Many children have other struggles in addition to ADHD, like my daughter.
Parents are reminded to control their temper, and I agree that this is crucial. Crucial, but not easy, and I wish that was recognized. When a child has a disability that leads to them screaming non-stop, disobeying rules, and/or being violent it is important to be the adult and recognize what is happening and why it is happening. Your reactions will match your level of understanding and level of self-control. Every child is different, and typical reactions for typical children are unlikely to work with neurodivergent kids. Those who have not experienced these challenges firsthand with children of their own should not be quick to judge others who are traveling a completely different journey.
What is Not Helpful
Most of the advice is very general. Some notes are not specific or not backed by documented facts or statistics, in my opinion. I would love to quote these examples for you so that you could see exactly what I mean, but I can’t. The author has a legal notice that prohibits me from quoting or paraphrasing any content.
I felt the need to write this review because some of the information is potentially harmful. And I believe, wrong. To force a child with neurological difficulties to always look at you in the eyes is not healthy. Again, this is from my experience. Do I want my daughter to have this skill in order to be successful in life? Yes. Do I recognize it is very hard for her? Yes. We work on it, but gently.
Another issue for me was when parents are reminded not to be selfish. Maybe some parent out there needs to hear this but not this one! The last time I put myself first? I can’t even tell you. A stranger telling me NOT to put myself first is NOT what I need. I need someone to tell me TO PUT MYSELF first. Parents of children with special needs will know exactly what I mean. You can’t get a babysitter because you overthink everything and you don’t want anyone who is not patient and understanding to be around your child. And even if you did get a babysitter, let’s not talk about how expensive that is now.
At one point, advice is given on eliminating ADHD symptoms. No comment.
Final Note
If you decide to read the book ADHD Raising an Explosive Child for the good points it does have, go for it. Just know, in my opinion as a parent of a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, it is NOT the last guide you will ever need. Not even close.
