Her Smile

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Her Smile

sometimes I feel like I’m wrapped tight in thin paper

and if I breathe too hard it will tear

I crawl in bed, at times

when I know I’m not supposed to be there

at first it came and went

and now it seems to stay

a sadness that won’t shake

an anger rubbed in like cement

12 years is too much

but some deal for 24

and I can’t wrap my mind around it,

that she will suffer more

this life has no promise of ease

no guarantee only the old will get sick

but knowing and seeing my mama,

I wasn’t ready for yet

some days are so good

her smile is still the same

some days are tears

that need no explanation

you may think she’s tired

she might be

but she’s also losing the ability to keep her eyes open

you may think she’s drooling from her medicine

she might be

but she’s also losing the ability to swallow

you may think she’s noticing something in the distance

she might be

but she’s also hallucinating what’s not there

you may think whatever you want of me,

listen to whatever you’d like

but pass no judgment unless you’ve slowly lost a mother

whose smile was your light in the dark

My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s at age 55. She has now been living with this disease for over 12 years. For more information on Parkinson’s Disease and how you can be a part of working toward a cure, visit:

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