Worn Out Old Blue
Our van, affectionately named Old Blue, finally decided it was done. The repairs were going to be $4400, in addition to $300 we had just spent. If you have been following us for a little while on Facebook, you know that Old Blue had already dropped us before. The girls and I made the best of it by eating pizza on the movie theater sidewalk. That break down was just a battery, but there were others including one that caused us to miss seeing our oldest daughter cheer at an away football game. Old Blue was tired and so were we. Letting go and moving on was in order.
Goodbye Tears
When we traded Old Blue in for a shiny new car, I turned around and looked at my girls on the back seat as we drove out of the dealership parking lot. My youngest had tears streaming down her face. I don’t mean a tear or two. She was very upset and it was bubbling over and out. I asked, “What’s the matter?” And she said, “I don’t want to leave Old Blue.”
I have thought about this so much since it happened. She still misses Old Blue, and I do a little bit too. I snapped this picture before her tears, so I guess I have to admit I was sentimental myself. I loved that van and I don’t even know why. I never wanted a van. Then it grew on me and the kids loved it and I just really wanted to keep it. I couldn’t, though, because I knew that it was going to drop me and the kids on the side of the road. Again. It wasn’t an if. It was definitely a when. The lights on the dash and the shaking van were a constant reminder that we had to make a decision fast.
Holding On & Letting Go
Even when we know that something is not good for us, sometimes we still want it. And we cry over it. We miss it. I told my daughter if she never likes any other car then I guess we will have to get a new, identical version of Old Blue and call it “Blue Number Two.” She is happy with this idea.
That van was going to break down for sure and leave us in a bad position, and we still didn’t want to get rid of it. We do this with people – intimate relationships, colleagues, friendships. We do this with decisions – where to work, where to live, where to hang out. We make poor choices because we are too busy holding on when we should be letting go. Letting go of the past and pressing on is not easy. Sometimes its the right decision, and Old Blue was a reminder of this for me.
