Will the memories of mama make it harder,
when they no longer see her face?
Will the memories leave them broken?
An empty house,
an empty space
Will all the days and nights they spent
playing with blocks, laughing and reading
leave them devastated,
frozen,
holding on to believing?
Will memory be a gift,
or an endless sad reminder
of all they miss,
of all they had?
A sweet childhood lived beside her
How do we love this much,
and not end up a wreck?
These waves of emotions are suffocating,
and there’s no opt-out for the trek.
Will the memories make it harder?
Will they dance inside our minds,
take up all the space?
Will they wear us down on our best days,
make us feel displaced?
Will we be okay without her?
In the morning, will we want to see the sun?
Will the memories of mama make it harder,
when all is said and done?
I wrote this one morning after helping my mom change into her pajamas and tucking her into bed. She is a beautiful, determined person who has lived a great life despite Parkinson’s showing up twelve years ago, when she was just 55 years old. It is a horrible, devastating disease.
“Estimates suggest that Parkinson’s affects nearly 1 million people in the United States and more than 6 million people worldwide. PD is a lifelong and progressive disease, which means that symptoms slowly worsen over time.” –The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research
Hannah, I read this through tears as I sit and ponder the very same for Karla and Ashley at this very moment. My mother in-law has just been diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic lung cancer and has decided (as of right now) to refuse treatment. Our girls are already devastated. They’re already lost. Of all their sets of grands, this Granny has been the one ALWAYS THERE with them. My heart hurts and I cry buckets lately… for them, with them. They’re grown and have their own babies now. That only makes it harder.
Right now, I’m leaning on Him and trying to be strong.
Thank you for sharing your heart. ❤️
Denise, I am so sorry to hear this news. It’s a blessing to love someone so much and at the same time, the weight of the emotion becomes very heavy in the event of pain and suffering and loss. I’ll be praying for your mother-in-law and for all of you. Thank you for your comment, and for reading.