She holds onto my leg; I can’t get away from her. She loves me – I know she loves me. Without me, she would not exist. I feed her. I clothe her. I teach her. I discipline her. I protect her. Sometimes things aren’t always pleasant. I’ve had poop on my fingers, pee on my lap, on my clothes, spit up and throw up all over me. She keeps me awake all night and I don’t get any sleep at all and I’m tired. Everything for her comes first and I put myself in 2nd place. She has bit me, hit me, screamed at me, threw spaghetti at me and laughed. When I was pregnant I had swollen feet, swollen ankles, and bulging veins in my hands, carpel tunnel in both wrists and a sore back, and the labor itself brought pain and pressure and fear and stitches and blood and blood and blood. This I believe – love is not always a feeling, love is a choice.
He holds onto my leg; I can’t get away from Him. He loves me – I know He loves me. Without Him, I would not exist. He feeds me. He clothes me. He teaches me. He disciplines me. He protects me. Sometimes things aren’t always pleasant. He’s had dirt and filth on His hands, in His lap, that I have brought before Him and laid upon His feet. He’s been up all night waiting on me and He doesn’t get any sleep at all and He’s tired. He’s tired of waiting on me when it’s so easy to do what He asks. He always puts me first. I have screamed at Him and embarrassed Him. I have done things that should make Him not love me, but this I believe – love is not always a feeling, love is a choice.
He had nails through His hands. He was betrayed, he was spit in the face, people made fun of Him, people questioned His character. He was dehydrated and starved and beaten. His back was lacerated with whips and his forehead pierced by a crown of thorns and there was blood and blood and blood.
He had to get through the pain to get to the miracle. I had to go through the pain to get to my miracle. He had to choose to love me, even though I am not perfect. I choose now, and will choose every day, to love her for her whole life no matter what she does, right or wrong. To love no matter what, with no guarantee of reward, no deal, no contract, no promise of getting love back – that is real love.
I am His child. She is my child.
This I believe – love is not always a feeling, love is a choice.