Your Last Baby
Something about your last baby really hits you so differently. So mamas who are in the thick of it right now, listen up. Us older moms want you to know that it’s hard to grasp it now when you are living in the present of diapers and managing all the things, but the future is coming for you. The speed at which it comes will steal your breath.
With your last baby, every new milestone will be the last time that you get to experience the excitement of that first experience. When your last baby takes their first step or says their first word, that is the last time that you will be able to take that moment of “first.” Simple things, small things, in the middle of a busy life that didn’t make you consider both the joy and the sorrow with your older children. A first step was only exciting; now it is a mix of first and final.
I’m accepting the realization that soon that last first will hit – Santa isn’t real, the Easter Bunny never existed, and the Tooth Fairy was just an exhausted parent trying to make sure they slipped $5 under the pillow instead of $20.
Megan Pomerleau
Don’t Blink
My dear friend shared that as her youngest lost her first tooth, she sat there and thought about all of the nights when she would rub a cold washcloth on her gums. She would pray that her first tooth would just pop through so she could feel some sense of relief. And now, she watches that tooth wiggle right out of her tiny little mouth.
This will be the last time she gets to witness this childhood first for one of her children, as a mother of four. As excited as she is for the new chapter of life ahead, she feels a sense of sadness. I think many of us can relate. It’s finally the youngest child’s time to experience the fun and excitement of the Tooth Fairy. And yet it’s a first we can never have again. A fleeting moment of joy that becomes a cherished memory for a mom.
Hold the Moments
As much as you can, hold the moments. Stop worrying about all the things you can’t control; they will be there waiting for you. Our babies don’t wait, they grow up so fast and time turns young mothers wise. Suddenly we are the ones sitting around, reminiscing, and saying “it all goes so fast.” Where did the time go? We were living, every minute, and loving our babies the best we could. We were paying bills and cleaning house and working jobs and getting groceries and cooking and trying to be a decent wife too.
A Bittersweet Transition
It’s okay for us to have our eyes well up with tears when our youngest whispers to us for the first time, in a sleepy little raspy voice, “I hope the Tooth Fairy comes.” As they close their eyes, grab our arm and snuggle in close, no one sees the tears that fall silently down our faces. A mother’s love for her children leaves a small space where we naturally grieve and celebrate the passage of time simultaneously. We do it with grace. Sometimes we barely have time to notice because we are so busy. But, make no mistake, there will be a moment, a thought, a pain so tangible you can almost hold it.
It might be when they no longer need to come to your room in the middle of the night. You thought you’d do anything for that day, so why do you feel sad? Maybe it’s when they start sleeping a little later on Christmas morning. You don’t hear the pitter patter of their feet running in unison quite so early. Maybe it’s when they want to go stay at a friend’s house, or when they start driving or dating. And we still see them as children. We remember how it felt to hold their little baby feet in our hands. Once upon a time, we could rock them, hold them, and they didn’t pull away. We are happy and so grateful, yet we miss them little too.
Last of the Firsts
You just cannot grasp how fast it will fly. So new mamas, please take it from the rest of us. Read them all the books. Tell them all the bedtime stories. Play with them outside and let the time linger longer. We know it’s hard. There are never enough hours in the day.
Intentionally cherish every minute you have with your little ones. You will not regret it. The last of the firsts will come and go, and we will embrace the new adventures waiting for us. It’s what we do as moms – we make it alright for everyone. But every now and then, we take a quick glance as our baby walks out the door. We have a flashback to when we could only imagine them little, and we are shaken in that moment by our memory.
