Book Review
I’m thrilled to bring you this book review and interview with award-winning author Cindy Eastman. The honesty of her latest book, True Confessions of an Ambivalent Caregiver, is what I find most compelling. It is easy, during really stressful situations, to have negative thoughts. We become experts at pushing those thoughts down and holding them in place. God forbid someone else thinks we are rude, upset, regretful, you know…human.
Eastman lets these thoughts bubble up. They are crucial for other caregivers who may be seeking solace with few outlets. I read this book cover to cover, and I didn’t stop reading even when I didn’t like what was printed because it was difficult for me. It’s tough to be honest and to confront those raw feelings we grapple with. Worrying about our loved ones as their health declines is a stress so many face. It’s incredibly difficult to care for a parent, as Eastman did full time. Now, let’s hear directly from her about the importance of her new book, True Confessions of an Ambivalent Caregiver.
Interview
Why did you feel writing this book was important, both for you personally and for other families?
“Writing it, for me, was therapeutic. I didn’t know it was going to become a book at first, it was just a way for me to keep me sane during some of the more exasperating times. As a writing teacher, I always tell my students that writing is simply a process by which you make meaning of your own lived experience. As we got further into the thick of the caregiving experience, I realized that there are so many people for whom this responsibility is overwhelming, but I personally found very few outside resources for help. At one point, I suppose I began thinking of it as a book–since the book I thought I’d be writing during that time had been put on hold–and that it could possibly begin a conversation about this role that over 53 million Americans fill and give them some affirmation.”
I know there is a lot of advice and complexity of thought around caregiving. Is there a single piece of advice you would give to others?
“Hmmm….one piece of advice? I think it might be to give yourself permission to feel all the feelings. I faced a lot of judgement during my path as my dad’s caregiver, and if I allowed myself to feel guilty about the decisions I made, the kind of care I was providing or how I felt about it all–based on what others thought I should be doing or feeling–I know it would have been a very different experience. One fraught with more tension and more regret.
But, even though some of the essays sound a little dark, I don’t have regrets. We took the best care we could and both my husband and I often say we’d make the same decision again–despite how hard it was. Until there is national attention on creating more options for caregiving families, we felt the care we provided in our home was the best. And giving ourselves some grace about our bad moods, our frustrations and the need to take a break every once in a while made that possible.”
Your New Read
Purchase your copy of True Confessions of an Ambivalent Caregiver today! If there is someone you know going through a caregiving journey, perhaps you could share this book with them. Throw in some dinner, flowers, or a spa day along with it and you will be their favorite person for sure. Find the book here with Bookshop.
